Why the Goal Should Not Be Confidence

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Pexels.com

Have you ever doubted yourself and your abilities? If you’re a human, I’m going to go ahead and assume the answer is yes. We all have moments in our lives where we wonder if we’re smart enough, tough enough, good enough… and chances are during some of those moments, you or someone else has probably told you to ‘be confident’.       

       I listened to a great podcast today. Not surprisingly, it was about confidence, but it took a somewhat unexpected turn and the speaker brought up a really interesting idea.   

       She said basically that the goal should not be confidence. How can we expect someone to have confidence in something they’ve never done? To tell them – it’s fine, just be confident because you’re smart and strong and capable – is actually pretty daunting. Yes, they may be all of those things, but oftentimes it doesn’t help much because the fact remains that they still don’t have any basis for believing they can do it.

They have no experience to fall back on, and therefore no reason to be fully confident.

        The point then, is that the main goal shouldn’t actually be confidence. That may be the effect that we’re going for, but in order to achieve that we have to first focus on courage.

        For example, I’ve never run a business, so I do not in fact know if I will be good at it or successful, and therefore I don’t have total confidence that I can do it. But I do know that I can be brave. I have enough faith in myself that I’m able to put my best foot forward and try my hardest to achieve my goals and make that business the best that it can be.

        And after the first few steps, I might have a basis for what works and what doesn’t. And after that, I might have more knowledge about what I need to change and what needs to increase, who I need to talk to, who my influencers are, and what my more streamlined goals should be. From there, with some background and experience behind me, I might have confidence. But it all had to begin with courage.

      All it takes is that first step or that one move, and you could be on your way to accomplishing something great. You will never know until you try, but turns out – it’s a bit of an uphill battle if you simply tell yourself to be confident.

You have to be brave enough to acknowledge the skills you have that will help you along the way, and that will probably help you do what you need to do.

      But the most important thing is being courageous enough to start.

      Interesting idea, no?

As someone who is passionate about empowerment, self-esteem, and confidence, this was something that really resonated with me and I felt like I needed to share it. So many people (myself included!) talk about confidence and how we just need to believe in ourselves, but don’t truly think about the fact that we might not actually have evidence to go on! Confidence is awesome, but courage is key.

     The podcast I listened to was by Amy Porterfield, who is most well-known for being an expert in online marketing. If you’d like to listen to her episode, you can find it here.

      Thanks for reading, and I hope you found this concept as enlightening as I did!

2 thoughts on “Why the Goal Should Not Be Confidence

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