Here’s One Simple Way to Recharge Your Confidence

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You know that feeling. Doubt, insecurity, hopelessness — because for whatever reason, you’re starting to feel like the least competent person in the world. Life has started to beat you down, and it seems like you can’t do anything right. Everything is a challenge, and you wonder if you were ever a capable adult to begin with. I mean, life shouldn’t be this hard, right?

Self-doubt is a terrible feeling that can eat away at you. Believe me, I get it. But over the years, I’ve discovered different ways to reset your confidence. Sometimes, we just need a small reminder of how capable we are.

All my life, I’ve wanted to be strong. For years, I constantly questioned myself and my abilities. Will I pass that test? Can I still run a mile? Do I believe in myself enough that I won’t let that insult hurt me? Can I bounce back from this pain or heartbreak?

But over time, I learned to trust in the things that make me feel strong to get me through the self-doubt. Mental health is just important as physical health — and both rely on inner strength.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”

― Maya Angelou

It’s up to you to figure out what makes that light come on, and what works to keep it going. When you look at yourself, do you see someone strong — physically, mentally, and emotionally? And if not, what can you do about it?

This is the simple technique I use to remind myself of my own capabilities.

Ask yourself what you’re good at.

Getting your work done on time, working out, painting, cooking a nice meal, beating that video game, fixing that broken latch, making people laugh, doing magic tricks — anything that evokes some sort of positive emotion and reminds you that yes, you are capable and skilled at some things — you can use that.

Do some self-reflection, and figure out what you’re good at. Already know? Great; make your list of those things that make you feel like a strong, capable human being.

It doesn’t have to be major things, and it doesn’t have to be a long list, either. Mine is pretty simple. These three are usually at the top:

• Going on a run. Although it doesn’t necessarily feel great when I’m in it sometimes (especially if I let myself go a while without working out) running makes me feel physically capable. Even if it’s just for a mile (or even less) and then I walk the rest of the time, at least I know my muscles are working and my legs can carry me.

• Writing. I know, big surprise. It’s not about ego — I simply like to look back over my entire portfolio of hundreds of articles, personal pieces, and poems, and think of all the effort I put in the money I’ve earned, and all the people who have read my work over the years.

• Taking charge of my finances. This was a weakness of mine for a long time. I used to hate dealing with money and facing financial reality. But then I realized I only hated it because I was disorganized, didn’t understand parts of it, and therefore kept having to depend on other people. When I finally got down to business and learned, (hey, if I can start Googling and figure it out, so can you) I realized that the act of taking charge of my money and my future actually made me feel strong, powerful, and in control of my life.

Ask yourself what you’re proud of.

It’s also effective to make a list of things you’re really proud of — accomplishments or challenges you’ve overcome.

I wasn’t sure I would graduate college. While I was a good student most of the time, I wasn’t in a great place emotionally and almost quit. Actually, I did quit temporarily. But I managed to go back and complete my degree, even though it seemed utterly impossible at the time. And to this day I am so, so grateful and proud that I stuck it out and managed to graduate.

I’ve also experienced events in my life that left me incredibly bitter. But years later, I no longer let those things rule my life or my attitude towards people anymore. And that’s definitely something I’m proud of.

When you remind yourself of the hard things you’ve overcome, you remember the spark that got you through it —it’s there, even if you have to dig it back out again.

Everyone has something. What have you accomplished in your life — big or small? What challenges did you face and overcome? We all have ups and downs. And everyone has had challenges they weren’t sure they would get through.

But you did, right? Use that.

Write it down.

Have you ever heard someone say that you’re more likely to remember something if you write it down? Well, turns out it’s true. And it doesn’t just apply to taking notes before a test or writing down your goals. Writing things down about yourself and how you feel can not only be cathartic, but it can also serve to jog your memory and act as a little confidence boost.

Pin your list somewhere you’ll be able to see it frequently and let yourself be re-inspired by… well, yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments or skills, especially if focusing on them helps get you out of a slump.

Whether it’s everyday tasks like consistently getting all your work done on time or working out your body, or it’s major accomplishments that you’re proud of, you can use those things to start building your confidence back up.

Whether they are physical activities or not, when I refer to my list and do something on it (or even simply remind myself that I can, and bask in that feeling), it serves as a nice reminder that I’m stronger than I know. And that no one can take that away unless I let them.

Final Thoughts

There are way too many self-help articles out there nowadays that promise to fix one aspect of your life or another, without acknowledging that everyone is different. What works for me, may not work for everyone. And what works for you, may not work for me. Bottom line — it’s up to you to find out what is most effective in your life.

This is one option. Hopefully, it helps.

Nobody has to be good at everything. But mindset makes a huge difference. You can achieve anything you want to — but first, you have to believe that you can.

Things can always change, and you’re probably stronger than you know. If you feel your confidence waning, take the time to do some self-reflection. Choose a few things you’re good at, some things you’ve overcome, and a few accomplishments, and write them down.

Chances are that there are plenty of things in your life you’re proud of, and you may just need a little reminder to show yourself what you’re capable of.

* If you would like to know more about building confidence and going after your goals, please feel free to reach out to me! I have more ideas, strategies, and resources, and currently have limited open spots to work 1:1 with me.