Empaths and Highly Sensitive People - Your Mindset Is Important
When I first heard the terms ‘empath’ and ‘highly sensitive person’, things started to click for me. I finally understood that feeling things very deeply and being very affected by other people’s energy and emotions was part of who I was. And even more than that, it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone and that there were tons of other people who experienced the world the way I did.
It was a relief to know these things, but at the same time I didn’t have the tools or knowledge I have now to help me protect my energy and learn how to take care of myself.
It put me in a place of awareness without understanding. Because, once I realized this was a part of me and that lots of other people experienced it too, there was a sense of “okay, now what?”
With the realization that I was an empath came the belief that because I had been struggling for years, it was just confirmation that because of my sensitivity, my life would always be hard.
I thought it was confirmation that it would always be difficult for me to be in social situations and not feel drained. I assumed that it would always be hard for me to not get emotional about things. And I believed it would always be more of a struggle for me to do what I wanted to do in my life, than it was for other people who weren’t empathic or highly sensitive.
And that’s an incredibly negative and disempowering way to look at things, don’t you think?
If you can relate and maybe you have felt or are currently feeling this way, let me assure you that I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have control over your own energy, and to feel like you’re at the mercy of your environment.
But I want to share that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Because being highly sensitive or being an empath doesn’t mean that you’re powerless. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t strong enough for this world. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re somehow less capable or deserving than other people are of success, happiness, or whatever you want to achieve in your life.
So, if you’re currently feeling drained and powerless because of your sensitivity - I get it.
There are many things that helped change my life and brought me to a place where I feel empowered and confident, but I want to emphasize something that doesn’t get talked about that much amongst empaths and highly sensitive people. And that is: your mindset.
Learning to thrive as an empath is absolutely about energy, but it’s also about the way that you think.
You may have heard the quote before by Henry Ford,
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Science has shown that your mindset has a LOT of impact on the outcome you’re trying to create. If you walk around thinking and saying, “my life is so hard, my life is so hard, my life is always going to be hard because I’m too sensitive”, then you are going to believe it. And by repeating it, you’re reinforcing that belief. And whether you realize it or not, you’re going to keep creating experiences that prove to your brain that your life is hard.
So, how can you turn this around? Start by noticing when you’re being negative and reframing it. You’ll be surprised how much of a difference it can make to have a simple shift in the way you speak to yourself.
For example, if you interact with someone who has negative energy and feel bad afterwards, and you’re thinking something like: “I wish I wasn’t so sensitive, this sucks, why can’t I just be stronger and not take on other people’s emotions?”
Switch that to something like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and this is one of the challenges that comes with being sensitive, but that’s okay. I can learn how to protect myself and maybe not interact with that person so much in the future.”
Of course energy is important, and one of the key components to protecting yourself as an empath is learning to ground yourself, shield yourself, and replenish your own energy. What you feel is real, it’s valid, and I won’t discount that sometimes it can be challenging.
But, while energy is so important, so is the way that you think and show up in the world! Because you have more power than you know.
You have control over your own energy, and agency over your own body. You can learn strategies, techniques, and tools to help you thrive, and one of the first things you can do is stop thinking of yourself like you’re powerless.
Here are a few things you can do to start feeling more empowered:
Write a list of things you’re good at and/or things you’re proud of. These can be big or small; anything that’s positive and serves as a reminder of your capabilities. This exercise is beneficial because it gives you a confidence boost and serves as a positive reminder of things you CAN do and HAVE done.
Get clear on what makes you feel good, and what doesn’t. Sometimes we’re not even aware of what’s draining our energy! Before you can make a change, you need to know what’s not working.
Start thinking about solutions. Instead of focusing on what’s difficult in your life right now, brainstorm things that could make the challenging parts a little easier. For example, if you’re feeling drained all the time because you’re being pulled in a million different directions, what positive changes could you make to allow yourself the downtime you need?
Being an empath comes with challenges, but it’s also a gift. It is simply one part of who you are, and doesn’t have to get in the way of what you want to achieve in your life. You get to decide.
So if you want to stop feeling like you don’t have control over your own energy and start feeling empowered – start with your mindset. It makes more of a difference than you think.
