5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Photo by Cottonbro on Pexels.com

We've all probably experienced overwhelm at some point. I get it - life is busy, and it often feels like there's so much to do and so little time to do it. In the moment, i’s hard to take a breath and remember that we can only do so much, and there’s only so much that’s in our control.

Sometimes what we need is to take a step back and gain some perspective, ask for help, and/or ask ourselves what's REALLY making us so stressed out under the surface. But it can be hard to recognize that when you’re in the thick of stress and overwhelm.

A huge part (actually, the majority) of my work as a life coach involves asking great questions. One of the things I love helping my clients to do is learn to ask themselves deeper questions and start to approach problems and decisions in different ways.

Especially in cases when you’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, being able to take a breath and ask yourself some questions (and commit to answering honestly) helps start to switch your thinking from dread to curiosity, and from victim-mindset to solution-focused.

No one likes being stressed out and overwhelmed... And I'm well aware that there are so many things out there in the world right now that can put us into a negative spiral. But there are some things we can control.

Here are a few questions to consider when you feel overwhelm setting in.

1) What in my life do I need to say NO to right now?

This is a great question to ask yourself because many times we get caught up in all the details, until we feel like we have to do all the things all the time, no matter what. Consider your mindset - are you in the “hustle” space right now? Or are you thinking that everything falls to you because you’re the main breadwinner? Are you avoiding saying no to something because you’re afraid someone will think less of you for it?

I’m not saying your reasons for not saying no aren’t valid - but I would encourage you to consider the truth behind those reasons. Because often our minds create more drama than is necessary, and it’s up to us to decide what we want to believe or not.

2) Is the pressure I’m feeling external, or internal? (Meaning, am I being too hard on myself?)

Again, consider the thoughts you’re having around the overwhelm.

“I’m so overwhelmed because everything is on my shoulders and mine alone, and I’m afraid that will never change.”

“There’s so much to think about and organize, and I never have any time for myself because it’s my responsibility to get it done.”

“If I can’t get everything done, I feel like a total failure.”

“I’m overwhelmed with everything I have to do, on top of everything I’m feeling, and I don’t feel any sort of support or direction.”

While there may be some truth to these thoughts, that doesn’t mean you have to believe the story that your mind is creating - that there is no solution, no support, and no relief. It may be true that you have a lot to do, but is it true that you are completely and utterly alone? Is it true that nothing will ever change? Is it true that you have no control?

And this brings us to the next question:

3) What options can I create to make this situation more manageable?

When we can start to switch our mindset from fear and dread to curiosity, it’s so much easier to get creative. Yes, you may be overwhelmed, but try taking a step back from the problem and thinking about what you can control, and what could change.

What tweaks could you make in your life that would make it more manageable?

How can you be more open-minded and creative about finding support and/or solutions?

4) What’s the REAL issue here?

Yes, this means going deeper - but often the key to fixing the problem is getting to the heart of the issue!

For example, if you're feeling overwhelmed because it seems like everything is on your plate right now, what's stopping you from delegating, saying no, and/or asking for help? Are you nervous to say no to things because you don't want people to be mad or disappointed? (Don’t worry; recovering people-pleaser here, too.)

What would happen if you gave yourself permission to be honest and say no to the things you don’t want to do, regardless of other people’s opinions?

5) How can I zoom out from this situation and gain some perspective?

Last but not least, consider if you were to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. What, if anything, would change? Often zooming out from a problem or situation helps to make it seem a little less scary and overwhelming. It’s hard to remember when you’re so close to the problem, but getting a little distance and perspective shift could be just what you need.

Next time you're feeling overwhelmed, try asking yourself some of these questions. Give yourself permission to go deeper and try to come up with some different solutions.

Take it from someone who is very familiar with people-pleasing and overthinking; the brain is a fascinating place, but you don’t have to believe everything you think. Take a breath, get curious, and focus on what you can control and how you could get creative - because oftentimes you’re much more capable than you know.